I think it’s funny how I’ve changed now that in with a woman.
I don’t mean the essence of me I’m still the same but my actions and thought processes.
For example I was a hairdresser. I love to touch other peoples hair. Weird I know. But anyway we were out at a pub and were introduced to some of justenes friends who happened to be lesbians. Kelly had the most beautiful long curly hair and without thought I just started touching it. When I realized what I was doing I suddenly stopped. Now I’m with a girl and was stroking a lesbians hair felt like I was crossing a line. Like I was going to be accused of hitting on someone else’s girlfriend.
When I was with a man I doubt i would of given it another thought.
The wary mummy mafia at school are another one. I feel like I can’t compliment some of them on their hair or their clothes because now they may think I’m having a crack. Again not an issue if I wasn’t with a woman.
Truth is I don’t see other woman and go sure I’d like to bang that!. I just don’t.
I’m not sure if I’m just being totally paranoid in my own head or if it would be actually perceived this way?
Either way my thought processes have changed and I’m sometimes confused…:
I received a private message from a mum in our class informing me who was marrying who this week. Keeping in mind our kids are 5&6 year olds.
Her son is genuinely excited and looking forward to getting married one day.
It made me think is this where our ideals start?
All I ever wanted to do was get married, buy a house and have babies. I think you could see the want and need in me, probably even smelt it. Needless to say my ideals were unrealistic and therefore the reality never lived up to the expectations and pictures in my mind.
Was this just my personal wants or did it evolve from coming from a home with the opposite?
It certainly wasn’t my example or experience.
My daughter has never seen me married as her dad left before she was born. I am now in a loving relationship with a fantastic woman. Her example is still love and support but we cannot marry in our country even though she wants us to.
Will this change her views on marriage?
I always said I would never get married again but I also said I didn’t swing this way…lol
Never say never I suppose.
I guess as long as I teach her great morals, foster her self esteem and teach her to demand all that she’s worth physically, mentally and Emotionally she will be ok.
She will be her and that’s all that matters to me.
Poor bastard will have too nagging mother in laws. 😄😄😄
Two Years On……
We are two years into our life together.
What a two years it has been…..
Did I think it would last….. Yes I did. I’ve never been so content and self assured in a relationship before. I’ve never had the intimacy, the support or the understanding before. A real genuine partnership where we converse and compromise like adults.
I don’t know if that’s because she’s a woman and wired differently or just because she’s my soul mate.
Either way I’m so glad that I took a chance on everything I considered normal and conforming for society.
Two years on do I now consider myself a lesbian?… No.
I believe I am gender neutral In terms of love. I fell In Love with the best person in the world. She just happened to be a girl….
What a fun exploration in every way that has been…..